Post-Op Treatment #2 & 3
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
I know…I’m failing on keeping everyone updated. Sorry :(
Treatment #2: Everything went pretty good. I did get a little nausea when I was leaving the doctor’s but all in all, everything went well. I got out of the house on that Saturday for the annual Softball party for a few hours…which was nice. Too bad that I only made it to 9pm and then it was time to go to bed. Oh well. We got out and did some running around on Sunday and that always makes me seem to feel a little better. I’m not sure what it is, but just hanging out with my husband and doing those everyday errands make me feel normal for a few hours, which is so needed right now.
I definitely have to tell everyone that I may make all this seem easy and like a cake walk, but it so is not. The closer it gets to being done with this, the harder things are getting. I think it’s because I can see the end and I can finally let everything out, which seems to be directed at my husband. He’s been absolutely amazing through all this, especially now that I seem to have lost it a little bit lately. I will get back to normal, just need some time to deal now I think.
Treatment #3: Well, this treatment was sooo much fun. I had a really early appointment so I was ready to get out of there earlier than normal. However, when do things ever work in my favor. My platelet counts were lower than desired this time, 64,000 when they shoudl be 100,000. I got treatment, which is good I guess. However, I got nausea during my treatment and couldn’t really est much. I had to get extra drugs to feel better. Thursday and Friday I had to stay on top of my drugs so I would feel alright. I didn’t really eat all that much during this treatment schedule. I am feeling a little better today (Saturday). We got out for a little bit, but my energy is way low. I hope this isn’t a sign of what’s left to come. I only have two left and I just want to get them over and done with. I’m not saying that not having them wouldn’t be great…I mean honestly who in their right mind would want to have to go through all this shit. I just want to have the last two to prove I can get through them…these 5 post-op are my insurance policy after all. The nice thing is that I don’t have to worry about not making all of them, because they won’t force it. When my body is done, it’s done.
Treatment 4/1 (4 of 8)
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
So, this treatment didn’t happen. I’d be lying if I said that I wan’t happy about that. I went into this treatment with the mindset that I was going to be honest, finally, and tell the doctor the way everythng was actually going and how I really was feeling. I went in and told them that I was absolutely exhausted and felt like I had hit my breaking point both physically and mentally. The good news was that I had extremely low platlet counts, so no treatment. Instead of just pushing treatment back a week and having it this week, Dr. Seng decided that since I had scans coming up on Wed 4/8 that we would just skip this treatment. He then added a MRI scan to this week too.
I am sooooooo ready for all this to be done. I so have hit that breaking point and feel like I am done. I can’t wait to have a normal life again. The bad thing is that I don’t feel like me anymore, and the bad thing is that people other than Bob are starting to notice it. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of who I am in all this mess. I know that I will be different after all is said and done, I don’t know how I could expect not to be. I just don’t want to loss all that is me. The hard part is knowing what changes are because of everything thats going on and what changes are due to hormonal changes do to treatments. Needless to say, I know I’m going to enjoy life and forget about all the small stuff that doesn’t really matter after all of this…that has already started. This is not a very easy thing to go through, even if that doesn’t always seem to be the case with me. I have this problem with letting people seeing me as weak. I know that everyone one would understand if I did let that part slip out every now and then, but I just don’t want to let that out. I have started to slowly allow myself to feel what I feel and let it be known. It’s hard, but I feel like I can’t hold anything in anymore, and if I do, I’m going to burst. So, if I seem a bit done or emotional or just different thats why.
Treatment 3/18 (3 of 8)
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
Well, this treatment was a little bit easier to handle. After the meeting with the the PA before treatment, and going over everything that has been going on…bloody noses, fatigue, just the general feeling of blah, and feeling like I was just plain done with all of this, we decided to change some things up. They added a different pre-med that I get the day of treatment and then the next two days as well. I got extra fluid during treatment too. I had Bob and Megan there and we actually played phase 10 twice, which took up almost two hours of the treatment. I came home and slept pretty soild between 7 and 10. I got up on Thursday and was up from about 8 to 12, ate two meals and then slept until dinner and then was up for a little bit more then right ot bed. On Friday I was up on and off and ate three meals again. I know it sounds like a whole lot of fun, eating and sleeping, but it was a good treatment cycle for me. I didn’t get sick at all!!!! That’s probably the best thing ever. I went in for disconnect on Friday and they gave me a steroid and anti-nausa along with my extra fuilds, which seemed to help quite a bit. We tried to go to hockey on Saturday, but I only made it through half the first game and Bob was stuck finding someone to go Saturday night with him. I felt really bad making him leave the game early, but I was so out of it and tired that I was practically falling asleep at the game, plus I really wanted to make it to the Wild game on Sunday. So, I am feeling pretty much back to normal, I don’t feel drugged out anymore, which helps. I feel aware and awake even if I am a little bit tired still. Don’t ask me how after all the sleep over the last few days, I can still be tired. Apparently, I was just catching up on everything. So today its off to the Wild game and then hanging out doing much of nothing. I wish I ddin’t have to go through these cycles anymore, but since I do I really want the rest of them to go as smoothly as this one did. Oh, well at most 5 left and the least maybe two left…I’ll know more after my scans on 4/8, I’ll know the results on 4/15. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for the chemo kicking the cancer’s ass and those damn tumors will be nothing when the scans done.
3/4 Treatment (2 of 8)
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
Well, what can I say. Because of how bad everything was last time, I got more pretreatment drugs this time and more fluid. That seemed to help in the beginning. I sleep pretty much all day on Thursday again, which is not good. I’d try to get up tp sit up for a bit, eat, or drink, but I’d go right back to sleep again. I was lucky if I was up for 4 or 5 hours all day. Friday wasn’t the best day, but I’ve had worse. I woke up feeling pretty good. We went to get disconnected and because I was feeling good I opted for no fluids, I think that was a mistake on my part. We got out the door of the office and I had o run to a bathroom to get sick. Then as soon as the elevator hit 1st floor I had to book it to the bathroom again. Then I got sick just a few blocks from the hopstial again…good thing we go prepared with a bucket. I got sick later at home again when I tried to eat and drink again, but eventually that stopped. Thanks God!!! It was a long day of that stuff. Saturday wasn’t too bad, I was up most the day just a few small naps and small amounts of food and drinking. I didn’t really get sick, just some dry heaves that passed. So far, Sunday has been a good day. I ate a norma breakfast and actually fell like moving around. Hopefully we can get out and about this afternoon and then we’ll see how I’m feeling.
All I can do say about all this shit (excuse my language, but I don’t know what else to call it) is that it’s almost done with. It has been a lot more to handle this time around and I don’t want to do it anymore. I may be putting up this strong and brave exterior, but inside I’ve had enough and can’t take it anymore. I just want my normal life back. I miss it so much right now. The thing I miss the most is my relationship with my husband. We have an absolutely amazing relationship, but now there is always this cloud over everything and it won’t go away. I feel like I have to put up a front to make him think I’m okay with it all, even though I know I don’t. I just don’t want to make this any harder on him. He’s so amazing and really the only thing that keeps me going most days. This is not easy by any means, but I know that I’m fighting all of this for us and our future. Theres nothing else that matters more to me right now then kicking cancer’s ass and having the future we have dreamt of. And now my focus is on Sept or Oct when all this will be done and we can restart our life again, because it feels like we’ve been paused since Sept.
Treartment 2/18 (1 of 8)
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
Okay, so I have decided that I don’t miss this at all.
I was in at 9am to get labs and meet with the nurse to see how everything was going and if I had any new questions. I then started chemo. Megan came and brought us Jumba Juice, which was really good and it hit the spot. We actually sat back in a small room this time because my “normal” spot in the corner was taken. I actually kinda liked it, a little more quite and out of the way. I think I’d rather sit in my other spot next time though. I like to be out with everyone else and seeing everyone come and go. I feel like I’m more there then, if that makes any sense. Everything went good, as normal. I had to go to the bathroom alot, like normal…they put a lot of fuild in. I also got my nice little warm flash at the end, thats always nice…I feel like I’m having a huge hot flash and can’t get cool, and then it’s gone. Other than that, everything went normal.
I got sick on Wednesday night, which doesn’t usually happen. I got really sick and had to clean up and change my clothes…way too much for me. I slept all day on and off on Thursday. Bob made me homemade chicken noodle soup and chocolate chip cookies, too bad I couldn’t really enjoy them. Friday, I must have missed a pill in the morning because I got really sick again (I had to change again). I didn’t really eat much, I spent most the day dry heaving, which is soooo much fun. I finally got some real food in me on Sat night and got a good night sleep. Sunday was a good day and I finally started to feel a little bit normal. We went out and bummed around a little bit and I ate three normal meals. So all in all, the weekend wasn’t really all that good. I think my body is a little pissed off at me right now and decided to show it in a very bad way. Hopefully, the next one will be better otherwise this is going to be a very long 4 months ahead. I guess I’ll just have to enjoy all the good days I do have so the bad ones don’t actually seem that bad. I’m not really sure if that will work, but hell it’s worth a try. Anything really is at this point I guess.
Update
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
I’m so ready to be all recovered and back to normal life. I hate sitting around all day and doing nothing. I did get out a little bit yesterday which was really nice, but I still wish I didn’t have to sit around anymore. Anyways, enough of my complaining…I’m sure everyone wants to know how everything is going.
For those who don’t know, the surgery was good. Here is a quick refresh on what happened…The surgeons did scopes before they opened me up to get a better idea of what they were up against, which changed everything they were planning to do. My liver surgeon found another 10 spots on my liver and two of them came back as cancer, the good news…they are all on the right lobe, so surgery is still a great option. So I did not have the liver surgery, but my rectal surgeon continued and removed the whole rectum and gave me a colostomy, which is the permanent one, but mine is temporary. Also, he found another 10-20 polyps in my colon, but thinks that they look fine. However, he does not like my colon and plans on eventually taking out the whole colon. The other fun thing, while my rectal surgeon was in there, apparently he pinched the femoral nerve on my left leg, so I have a very weak leg and am walking with a cruch right now…it will slowly come back, just don’t know how long it will take. Enough with that though…
I got my staples out on Tuesday afternoon and I have to tell you it felt so good. I can now wear pants because it doesn’t hurt or isn’t unconfortable because of the rubbing against the staples. I am so excited to have them out!!!!
What’s next??? I met with a neurologist to have some testing done on my leg to see where we are and where we have to go from here. Also, treatment will continue…I go in the end of Jan for scans. Then in the beginning of Feb to get lab work done and met with Dr. Seng to get the treatment plan. The focus of this chemo will be on the liver. The next surgery, to remove 60% of the liver, will be sometime in April or May. Then I’ll probably finish off the chemo to make sure that everything is gone. The best news of all of this…NO RADIATION!!! This means we don’t have to focus on or worry about doing fertility treatments and I will probably be able to have kids the “normal” way. This was exactly what I needed to to hear after surgery because it seemed to lift me up and make me soooo happy.
Surgery is scheduled!!!
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
Monday 12/29/08 at 1pm.
Don’t know how long it will be yet, still have to meet with both my surgeons this week. So I’ll know more on Wed. All I know is that it will be an extremely extensive surgery and it will take me awhile to recover, 1 to 2 months at least. Gotta love it!!! Well, not so sure if I can be as excited about this and I should be. I am absolutely terrified that I have to have surgery seeing as it’s my first surgery ever. I don’t want to be put to sleep for it because I’ve never been given drugs to put me asleep before. Ahhhh!! I just wish that it could all be over, but I know that with this surgery I am just that much closer to being done. Now, I just have to recover, go through egg harvesting, 8 more cycles of chemo, and then 6 weeks of radiation/chemo. Then I’ll be in remission. Needless to say the road is still long but come 12/29 I’ll be one step closer.
4th Cycle of Chemo
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
Last pre-op chemo treatment….Thank God!!!!
Everything went alright. I got sick Thursday night, but other than that it wasn’t too bad. Of course I got the “high” feeling again, but it wasn’t as bad as the past. I still am getting the cold sensation, but that’s just part of the deal.
Good news from the doctor though. Surgery should be sometime between Dec 24th and Dec 31st. Then its full chemo again and then radiation/chemo. That should be it then, I hope. We’ll see where everything goes after surgery.
3rd Chem Cycle
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
Nov 12–Early in the morning (7:30 am). Bob and I went and Megan met us there. I got my flu shot today too, yeah!!! It went pretty good this time. Megan and I talked most of time during treatment, just about everything which was really nice. I got to play my Nintendo DS, oh thats right Bob bought me one for Chemo! Other than that, it was normal as normal can be when going through Chemo.
I slept almost all day, minus a few hours, on Thursday. Friday I got disconnected and slept for a good part of the day. I am still out of it for a few days after, we like to refer to it as a high feeling. My eyes get all dilated and fuzzy and I’m totally out of it. Oh, and I get a nice cold sensation too. Its great!!
One good note–I Didn’t Get Sick!!!!!!!!!
First 2 Chemo Cycles
Posted by chrissy | Filed under Treatment Updates
1st Cycle (10/8): One hell of a long appointment…6 Hours!!! I got the first needle into my port and it hurt like hell. My labs came back normal. I met with doctor to go over the treatments and ask questions. Then it was off to the treatment room to get my drugs. I was extremely nervous and scared out of my mind to be honest. It was great to have Bob, Megan, and my mom there…that made it easier. Everything went good and we were on our way home with the pump. I felt great Wed night and I even went to work for half a day on Thurs, which wasn’t the best move. I came home, took a nap, got up and got sick, really sick. Unfortunately, it didn’t go away until I got my pump taken out and that’s only because they gave me a shot of anti-nausea meds. I started to feel good on Sat and had a good weekend.
2nd cycle (10/22): Just Bob and I this time. My counts were to low to get treatment this day. I was definitely not in a good mood this day. It took a lot for me to get through this day. The preparation that you have to go through to get ready for treatment the hell that follows for two days after is not something I enjoy doing.
2nd cycle-Take Two (10/29): Me and Bob again. It’s nice to go through this with just him some cycles, I definitely need him to be able to stay strong through this (I’m fighting for our family and the hope to expand it some day). Only 4 hours this time!!! I had pretty good time at treatment this time. One of the women that I had chemo class with was getting treatment too, so I was able to catch up and talk with her for most of it. I felt good leaving that day. I was much smarter this time and took Thurs and Friday off and worked from home. I did really good on Thurs…I was a little out of it but didn’t get sick or anything. But Friday was a completely different story. I started out good but turned bad quickly. I got really sick and it lasted well into Sat. I didn’t start to get better until Sun, but it was a very quick and rapid change around.
